Cat Haiku

Author anonymous
     
                                   You never feed me. 
                               Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. 
                                 That will sure show you. 
     
                                You must scratch me there! 
                                   Yes, above my tail! 
                                  Behold, elevator butt. 
     
                                   The rule for today 
                              Touch my tail, I shred your hand. 
                                  New rule tomorrow. 
     
                                 In deep sleep hear sound 
                               cat vomit hairball somewhere 
                                   will find in morning. 
     
                                   Grace personified. 
                                 I leap into the window. 
                                   I meant to do that. 
     
                                  Blur of motion, then -- 
                                 silence, me, a paper bag. 
                                   What is so funny? 
     
                                   The mighty hunter 
                             Returns with gifts of plump birds -- 
                               your foot just squashed one. 
     
                                  You're always typing. 
                               Well, let's see you ignore my 
                                  sitting on your hands. 
     
                                 My small cardboard box. 
                                  You cannot see me if I 
                                  can just hide my head. 
     
                                     Terrible battle. 
                             I fought for hours. Come and see! 
                                  What's a 'term paper'? 
     
                                  Small brave carnivores 
                              Kill pine cones and mosquitoes 
                                  Fear vacuum cleaner 
     
                                   I want to be close 
                                 to you. Can I fit my head 
                                   inside your armpit? 
     
                                   Wanna go outside. 
                               Oh, shit! Help! I got outside! 
                                   Let me back inside! 
     
                                    Oh no! Big One 
                              has been trapped by newspaper! 
                                   Cat to the rescue! 
     
                                 Humans are so strange. 
                             Mine lies still in bed, then screams 
                               My claws are not that sharp. 
     
                                 Cats meow out of angst 
                              "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! 
                                We could break so much!" 
     
                                 The Big Ones snore now 
                               Every room is dark and cold 
                                 Time for "Cup Hockey" 
     
                                  We're almost equals 
                                 I purr to show I love you 
                                 Want to smell my butt? 


J. Welling
Last modified: Mon Feb 22 18:39:59 EST 1999